When Someone You Love Is Struggling with Addiction: A Realistic Guide to Helping Without Losing Yourself

 In today’s fast-paced world, it’s becoming increasingly common for people to struggle with alcohol or drug misuse. For some, it’s a response to overwhelming life pressures. For others, it begins with social use and spirals into dependency. Over time, what may have started as a personal coping mechanism can evolve into a chronic addiction with devastating consequences—not only for the individual but also for those closest to them.

In the UK, recent figures from the Office for National Statistics show that over 3,000 people die from drug-related causes each year in England and Wales alone. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that over 100,000 people died from drug overdoses in 2022. Behind each statistic is a family member, a friend, or a partner—someone who loved them and tried to help.

So how can you help someone who is caught in the grip of addiction? The truth is, there is no magic formula. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. In fact, support from someone who cares can often be the turning point toward recovery. The key lies not in trying to "fix" them, but in walking beside them—gently, patiently, and with compassion.

Often, those who misuse substances feel trapped in a cycle of shame and fear. This is where your support can be transformative. Even a simple reassurance like, “It’s okay to ask for help,” can be the spark that shifts their mindset. In Chicago, a mother stood by her son through three failed rehab attempts, never giving up. She drove him to therapy sessions daily and eventually, after two years of relapse and recovery, he not only got clean but became a volunteer at a local treatment center—paying it forward.

If you’re trying to support someone in your life, here are some evidence-based, experience-informed suggestions:

Encourage them to seek professional help. If this is their first time confronting the issue, they may not know where to start. You can assist them by researching treatment options in your area. In the UK, Turning Point provides an online tool to locate local addiction support services. In the US, SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) offers a 24/7 hotline and treatment locator.

Accompany them to appointments—if they’re comfortable with it. For many, walking into that first counseling session is overwhelming. Your presence can reduce their anxiety and increase the chances that they’ll return.

Spend quality time together that doesn’t revolve around alcohol or old habits. Whether it’s going for walks, watching movies, or exploring hobbies they used to enjoy, rebuilding a sense of purpose and connection can make all the difference. A German couple in Hamburg found a unique solution—after the husband’s successful alcohol recovery, they began attending "sober social events" every Friday night. It gave them a supportive community and helped maintain his sobriety.

Don’t be afraid to talk about how their substance use affects you. Choose a calm, safe moment and express your feelings honestly—but without blame. Saying, “I love you and I’m scared,” can go much further than a lecture.

You may also wonder if you can legally intervene when things feel out of control. In both the UK and the US, you generally cannot have someone forcibly admitted to treatment solely because of addiction. However, if substance misuse is accompanied by a serious mental health condition—like suicidal ideation, psychosis, or violent behavior—doctors may assess them under mental health laws.

In the UK, for example, the Mental Health Act (1983) allows doctors to "section" someone for emergency mental health treatment, but only under very specific conditions. In the US, states like California have “5150” laws that allow for temporary psychiatric holds. Still, these interventions should always be considered a last resort, and ideally part of a broader care plan.

While you’re supporting someone else, don’t forget to take care of yourself. The emotional toll of caring for someone with an addiction can be immense. Many supporters experience chronic stress, burnout, or even depression. According to a study from the University of Michigan, over one-third of family members caring for someone with substance use issues showed clinical signs of anxiety.

You don’t have to go through this alone. In the US, Al-Anon Family Groups provide peer-led support to friends and families of alcoholics. In the UK, Families Anonymous offers similar group meetings. These are safe spaces to share experiences, get practical advice, and feel heard.

You can also try building a self-care routine that grounds you. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. A morning walk, a creative outlet, or even just 15 minutes of quiet journaling can make a world of difference. In Amsterdam, one woman created a simple morning ritual—coffee, meditation, and reading—to preserve her sanity while living with a spouse battling alcoholism. “It wasn’t an escape,” she said. “It was how I stayed human.”

If you're a long-term caregiver, you may be entitled to a carer’s assessment. In the UK, local authorities can evaluate your needs and offer support such as respite services or financial aid. In the US, family members can often find help through state-funded programs or non-profit networks focused on dual diagnosis care.

At the heart of this issue is love—and often, love that has been stretched to its limits. But remember, your role is not to carry someone else’s recovery on your shoulders. Your role is to walk with them, with boundaries and kindness. As the American psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” The same applies to our loved ones.

You can be a lighthouse—not by rescuing someone from the storm, but by showing them that there’s still a shore worth swimming toward.